I have to take this walk. It will be good for me. There is much for me to see, much to do, much to feel and much to learn. It will be a long walk, long as life exists; many years I suppose. And along the way I will stop many times and experience many things. I will make many friends, enemies, I will have successes and failures, and hopefully, I will learn something from it all. I may settle in one of those places, I may find love, or love may find me. I will live, I will love, and I will learn. Then I will die and my walk will be over. But I have to take that walk. I have to go. I have to go now and there is no turning back.
As a child I hope you have the love that all children deserve. I hope you have a set of parents who want you, who planned you, and who prepared for you. This is what I hope for the first part of your journey. I hope they spend some time with you and teach you about the world you will experience on your on one day. I hope they set a good example for you and show you the way to live. I hope they stand behind you at school plays and I hope they cheer you in the games that you are in and the races that you run. May you have parents that are willing to sacrifice to give you a better life then they have. May the generations of your family become stronger as they pass from father to son .
I'm out here now. It feels kind of funny. I know there is me and I know there is something else, many parts of something else, but I'm not sure what they are. I know that when I yell I get something but I am not sure what it is. I have no control over what I do and control is what I crave most of all. I want to walk. I want to run. I want to go around the corner on my own so I can see what is there.
Before long you will have the control over your body that you want. But to have control over what others think and do will never come, although you will try. Learn to control what you do. Learn to decide what you want early in life and then set out to get it and don't stop until you do.
Many years have gone by. I am out of my childhood now. I am an adult and I miss those early years. Your hopes that I would have a set of loving parents did not come to pass. I spent a lot of time alone. I spent time alone when I really needed someone to be with me. I needed attention and there was no one for hours on end that could provide me with it. That was my childhood, lonely. I had to entertain myself. I had a television set. I had a BB gun. Now and then I had a friend who came over to play. But I wanted my mom and dad like the other kids. I wanted someone to cheer me at school plays. I wanted someone to wish me luck when I played baseball, when I ran my races. I can now see why you wanted me to have loving parents; why it was the first hope you wished for me. And I thank you for wishing it on my behalf. It is too bad that the innocent have to suffer so much. Little children need emotional support. I still feel alone. I feel that way and I have no reason to. I am an adult, I can take care of myself. I have the means to get out and find companionship. I can go out and play anytime I want to. So why do I feel so alone sometimes? I feel alone because I am still holding on to my lonely past. I am just feeling sorry for myself. That's a bad thing.
You are feeling sorry for yourself. Just do it for a moment, though. The world is a cold and unforgiving place. This walk through life that you set out on is not going to be all good. You are going to experience plenty of loneliness at times. But how will you know the joy of companionship if you do not first experience the emptiness of being without it? Your childhood is behind you. You will never experience that part of your life again. You can put your loneliness behind you, also. Get involved.
I have a wife now, a good job, a home, and children. I love my wife dearly. I am no longer alone, but better than that, I am with someone I love and who loves me back. We have out differences and there are still some things we don't know about each other. It's been ten years now and we are still finding new things. I like it that way, and she does too. The sparks fly now more than they ever did. This is what I always wanted. She is beautiful. I would give my life for her. We are happy together. There is so much that two people can do when they become one. And I have learned to be patient, to be content. For the first time in my life I am very happy. For the first time in my life I feel loved. This lady who is my wife loves me enough to devote her life to me; who could ask for more? Of all life's experiences, this has got to be the ultimate.
I am glad that you are so happy. Now you have the chance to give the kind of childhood you once longed for to your children. You have the chance to cheer them at their plays, root for them at their games, and be there at the races they run. You can be the companion to them that you never had. You can be a devoted husband, too. Enjoy the time you have with your family.
I thought that walk would be longer than it was. I guess it is over now. I got the chance to be a companion. I did all for my children that I had wished had been done for me. I was faithful to my wife, and I loved her, and I let her know that. I think my children are going to be all right. They are a little stronger than I was and they have more going for them earlier on than I did. They are happier than I was when I was their ages, that's for sure. But I am as happy as they are now. You see, the only way I could get over my loneliness was to give my family the love that I thought I deserved when I needed love but didn't have it. And I told them that. It was nice to have made a difference in the lives of those who were a part of me. It was a nice walk. There was much to see, much to do, much to feel and much to learn. It was a short walk; life does not last very long. Just a few moments we call years. I stopped and made friends and enemies. I had successes and failures, and I learned something from it all. I settled in one of those places, found love and was found by love. I had to take that walk and now it is over. I have to go. I have to go now and there is no turning back.